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About Me 15DECEMBER Visual Kei Jrock theGazette VidollViViDayabie NIGHTMARELolita23q THEKIDDIE MatenrouOperazoro AnCafe miyaviSINCREA SuGSCREW 12012D=OUT Girugamesh D'espairsRay Tagboard Exits TaoNanNites. Athena Bei Ni Benjamin Claire Colette Charlene Charmaine Yeap Dario Deborah En Ping Hui yu Jamie Jia Li Julia Melany Melody Natalie Shi Jing Shi Yin Sofia Tasha Trini Tao Nan Shavonne Qi An Wei Yun Yen Yin PRCS. Two-Eight Pillow Gang Amanda Chui Wern Claire Corine Jia Ling Jia Jun Jodie Kok Xin Natalee Nickson Phyllis Qian Ying Qi Ren Samantha Samantha Sandra Shermaine Shih Ying Tze Xin Valerie Wei Min Wei Wen Xun Kai Yih Harn Yi Ying Zhi Qian
Jrock Artists Calendar 16th January-Ibuki's Birthday 1st Febuary -Ruki’s Birthday 1st Febuary-Intetsu’s Birthday 3rd Febuary- Aki’s Birthday 8th Febuary-Shinji’s Birthday 9th Febuary-Takuya’s Birthday 15thFebuary- Shun’s Birthday 16th Febuary-Iv’s Birthday 18thFebuary- Taizo’s Birthday 18thFebuary-WangWen’s Birthday 20thFebuary-ChuiWern’s Birthday 24thFebuary-Anzi’s Birthday 26thFebuary-Sorao’s Birthday 2nd March-Minase's Birthday 5thMarch-Hitsugi’s Birthday 9th March-Jia Li’s Birthday 10thMarch-the Gazette 8thAnniversary 14th March-Yuu’s Birthday 18th March- Kok Xin’s Birthday 25th March-Sou's Birthday 1st April- April’s Fool Day 1st April-Aoi’s Birthday 9th April-Yusa's Birthday 13th April-Yusei’s Birthday 29th April-Ryuto's Birthday 1st May-Ko-ki’s Birthday 4th May-Hiroto’s Birthday 4th May-Yu-ki's Birthday 27th May-Reita’s Birthday 4th June-Reno’s Birthday 9th June-Uruha’s Birthday 9th June-Ruka’s Birthday 11th June-Rame’s Birthday 23rd June-Ni~ya’s Birthday 24th June-Saga’s Birthday 29th June-Sakito’s Birthdaybr> 30th June-Jui’s Birthday 5th July-Shou’s Birthday 5th July-Kanon’s Birthday 6th July-Ryosuke's Birthday 6th July-Yuuya’s Birthday 14th July-Yomi’s Birthday 22nd July-Nii’s Birthday 29th July-Yu’s Birthday 31th July-Nao’s Birthday 4th August-Jun's Birthday 5th August-Kazuki's Birthday 5th August-Reika's Birthday 8th August-Takumi's Birthday 21st August-Natalie’s Birthday 21st August-Giru’s Birthday 24th August-Alice Nine 6th Anniversary 24th August-Takehito’s Birthday 28th August-Shi Jing’s Birthday 28th August-Ayame’s Birthday 29th August-Yuki’s Birthday 4th September-Shin’s Birthday 8th September-Tero’s Birthday 14th September-Miyavi’s Birthday 17th September-Tora’s Birthday 20th September-Яyo’s Birthday 22nd September-Yumehito’s Birthday 24th September-Ryuuji’s Birthday 24th September-Ban's Birthday 28th October-Rei's Birthday 5th October-Charmaine’s Birthday 13th October-Satoshi’s Birthday 21st October-Yih Harn’s Birthday 21st October-Ko-ki's Birthday 23rd October-Mao’s Birthday 28th October-Kai’s Birthday 30th October-Yo’s Birthday 3rd November-Wei Wen’s Birthday 11th November-Mitsu's Birthday 22th November-Ryoga’s Birthday 24th November-Tatsuhi’s Birthday 26th November-Kayuu's Birthday 27th November-Hikaru's Birthday 3rd December-Hixro's Birthday 8th December-Teruki’s Birthday 9th December-Yuuya’s Birthday 9th December-Kenzo’s Birthday 15th December~My Birthday 18th December-Sono’s Birthday 21st December-Yudai's Birthday 25th December-Christmas! 25th December-Yi Ying’s Birthday 26th December-ShuU’s Birthday 29th December-Shuta's Birthday Credits Layout design by Eefennie. x x x |
Friday, August 14, 2009 An Cafe new album 8th September Release ! titled : BB Parallel World had medical appointment today, so never go CCA. "medical appointment" it's on Monday... now... feeling hot, fever hot . 37.7 temperature, is that a fever ? whatever, since morning already 37.5, then still never beep so just take out. if wait will be 37.6 le . yeah... so cold... feeling so hurt . it's like, why can't just one person understand me ? just one ? inside i'm damn damn damn hurt and outside i'm wearing a fake smile. i'm sick of pretending to be happy, i'm sick of fooling myself . fever? isn't that better ? high fever even better. let me just faint, i don't want to suffer this pain anymore . telling myself to smile, can i really do so ? i want to smile, but can i ? everyday, i'm hurt even more. the pain, it's just accumulating, it's getting worse everyday . i'm just bottling everything inside, with no one to confide into . so what if i have friends ? they will probably be hurt if they read this, but , i don't want to trust . trust just brings along even more pain. are friends really friends ? can they really be trusted ? i don't want to know the truth . i'm just running away from reality, i'm probably just a coward running away from troubles, just trying to free myself but unable to . right here, this very moment, i'm suffering in this cursed place far worse than hell . but, even though i'm so near you, how much do you actually understand me ? under the same roof ? it doesn't matter to you. all i am to you is just some pest than is better off gone , away from you . even if that's not true, stop giving that impression, it's hurting . how many times have i thought of running away ? how long has it been since i started hating you . Primary school okays, lower primary . probably, even before i knew how to spell H-A-T-E since then , i have felt such deep hatred for you, unable to trust you, unable to love you . all i am is just putting on this fake image . is this Bernice even real ? what is the real me ? i too, want to know . the Bernice is long gone, right now, i'm just a container filled with hatred and desire for revenge . not human, just a container . i'm lifeless . i'm dead in the inside. stabbed mulitple times. i'm sick of it . i want to be happy, i don't want to be emo . i want to get out of this hell , i want to suffer no longer. i'm sick of the pain , my heart is numb . i'm used to your torturing but yet i feel so hurt . if the person supposed to e my closest person don't even understand me, who else will ? who else in the world will bother to understand me ? i'm better off without you . just leave me alone . staying quiet is less painful , so i have learnt not to talk here. locking myself up frees me from you, so i have learnt to too. avoiding you is also less painful, so i'm avoiding you . and yet, even if i try, all i get are more scoldings . but i just want to say, understand me ! why the hell am i even doing this for ? understand it . do you think i even want to live a life like this ? from the start, you did not understand me. i'm feeling nothing but pain, teach me how to feel something else. teach me how to love, how to trust . so, even if i'm moody, what do you know about my mood ? randomly guessing wrong answers, it makes me feel worst . it proves that you know nothing about me . i wonder if you even know that i'm suffering here. if you know, just free me . so now, even if i'm sick , how much do you know . posting this, maybe it makes me feel better . as if i will trust such people, let alone love . i don't want you in my life . just let me be alone from now onwards . never exist in my life again . just fade away like you never existed . let the pain fade away with you . my heart no longer feels anything except hatred and revenge . who shaped this personality . whatever, sick of this . sick of everything . anyway, Literature test was SO SO FREAKING DIFFICULT . and *ahem* is the best teacher ever . 19 August . Dear release + Natsu Monogatari Release ! 今も愛しているそっとずっとずっと君を9:05 PM |